Foreign Customs
by Onyx17
Summary: Bitten at the Bunny Farm! Sideswipe tries the trademark 'mistletoe-move' on three lucky-lucky femmes. Needless to say, things don't go the way he planned out.


**Characters: **Sideswipe, Vibes, Flareup, Glyph, Arcee

_Transformers © Hasbro_

* * *

A sly grin framed by a black helm briefly peeked around the doorway to the rec-room and with a sweep of excited blue optics, took in its sole three occupants. Grin widening, he quickly ducked his head back around the wall. He let a quiet snicker out, rubbing his black servos in anticipation.

"Hehe, perfect"

He reached into his subspace and after a spell of rummaging, retrieved the sought item. His grin split into a crooked smirk.

* * *

"Why are we only celebrating Christmas?"

Glyph didn't bother looking up from her datapad but distractedly replied, "What do you mean?"

She felt the seat next to her tremor as another metallic frame plonked itself next to her.

"I _mean_, why is it that the guys are all enthusiastic about celebrating Christmas when there are other celebrations around this time of year?" Vibes' visor was dim in puzzlement, red elbow settled on the arm rest and helm in hand.

"Like what?" Glyph felt her curiosity slightly peeked at the mention of earthen cultures, but her visor remained fixed on the datapad.

"Well, there's Hanukkah for starters. Then there's also Kwanzaa; and they both last for way longer than just a day!" she exclaimed, pedes rising to rest on the table opposite her. Glyph's visor brightened as she instinctively performed a web search of the holidays.

"Hmm…Humans certainly have very diverse cultures" she noted, not without awe. Vibes' faceplates broke into a grin.

"Think I should mention the other holidays to the guys? Bet we can convince them to decorate for those as well!" her visor glowed with building excitement, "We could set up a whole bunch of different decorations! And maybe even mix and match some to really-"

"GRAAAAAAAH!"

Both femmes sighed and looked with slight disinterest at the rooms other occupant; the source of the sudden frustrated yell.

"Problems, Flareup?" Glyph's tone was draped in bored amusement.

The orange femme's helm was currently resting atop a mound of (seemingly) ever increasing datapads, both arms splayed across the table-top and hands dangling over the far edges.

"Mhpshhph" came the eloquent response.

Vibes snickered, "Well, that's what you get for blowing up Grapple and Hoist's metallic Christmas tree"

"I was tricked! The mini-bots told me it was useless scrap and that I'd be helping if I blew it up" she growled out, words muffled by her makeshift pillow.

"They just didn't want to be forced to be used as decorations on it. I believe one of the other mechs had suggested it to Jazz at one point and he didn't exactly say no…" Glyph mumbled out, attempting to swallow a laugh threatening to escape.

Flareup merely gave another melodramatic engine whine, raising her helm to gaze sullenly into the opposite wall. Silently she cursed both the scheming mini-bots and her own penchant for pyromania.

"Hey girls!" Two visors and a set of optics instantly flickered towards the new frame filling the doorway.

Despite her plight, Flareup let a bright grin tug at her faceplates, "Hey Sideswipe!"

Vibes gave a good natured grin and brief "hey" while Glyph offered a polite nod, visor rigidly fixed to her datapad. Sideswipe grinned broadly as he languidly approached the couch.

He gripped the back of the soft-metal, leaning on his hands and gazed down at the two femmes in front of him.

"Sooooo" he began in a playful tone, "What're you girls up to?"

Vibes, still running through her plans for holiday integration, responded with a distracted "Nothin' much", while Glyph gave a brief shrug, staunchly silent. Flareup answered him with a frustrated engine rev.

"I now officially hate all datapads!" she groused, optics drilling into the pile in front of her.

Sideswipe chuckled, "You think that's bad, you should see what the mini-bots got for tricking you…Though something tells me that it was still preferable to being used as decorations, at least as far as they were concerned"

Vibes let a slight frown downturn her lips, "Hey Sides, what's that on your helm?" she queried, sitting up straighter to better inspect the green form hanging from the black metal.

At this Sideswipe let a lopsided grin spill, optics brightening as he leant down to level his face with Vibes'.

"Hmm, do you need a closer look?" he purred, optics locked with her own golden visor. She canted her head to one side in uncertainty.

"It looks organic…What is it?" she asked curiously, though with a hint of wariness. Upon first reaching Earth, Elita's femmes had been particularly…chary of the organic life; both for fear of damaging it and vice versa. Keeping this in mind, Vibes also leaned her helm back on impulse.

"Mistletoe!" the voice that answered was not Sideswipe. Vibes jerked her helm to a rather edgy looking Glyph.

"Mistletoe…?" she repeated dubiously.

"Mistletoe?" Flareup had crossed the room to closer inspect the strange organic, hovering just next to the red mech.

"Sideswipe why would you put something like that on your helm?!" Glyph's voice was uncharacteristically frantic, golden visor bright with shock. Her worry began to leak into the other femmes as they both exchanged nervous glances between themselves and Sideswipe, who had by now begun to wonder just what the slag was going on.

"Ugh…Glyph, it's not a big deal...It's not like it's gonna-"

"That thing is poisonous!" she frantically exclaimed, jumping off the couch and stepping back.

"WHAT?" both femmes yelled as they simultaneously backed away from Sideswipe.

The red mech gazed with an uncomprehending "What the frag?" expression.

"Sideswipe, don't move! We'll get that thing off you!" Vibes ensured, though she seemed to be rather hesitant to break the meters distance she'd put between herself and him. "Ummm…should I shoot it off?"

…_What?_

"What if you miss?"

"Flareup, maybe you can blow it off?" Glyph suggested.

_WHAT?! _

"Ugh….that's not-"

"I guess, but it might give his helm a bit of a burn…" she mumbled warily, "So long as he remains still it shouldn't leave too much of a mark"

Sideswipe, who had been inertly perplexed until now, started at the sounds of a laser canon powering up with a hum.

"Woah! Girls, you're totally over reacting!" he stammered, awkwardly stumbling away from the femmes.

"Sideswipe, we have to get that thing of you" Glyph stated, "Do you want to get infected by an organic fungus, or worse?"

"But it won't-!" he stopped as he felt his back make contact with a wall. Frag. He froze up as he saw a charged laser barrel in the corner of his optic. Double frag.

"Just hold still…I almost never miss!"

Triple frag.

"Holy-! What the Pit are you guys doing?!"

All four helms turned towards the far corner of the room. Arcee stood with a pile of datapads stacked precariously in her arms, blue optics wide and mouth agape.

"Arcee, remain calm. There is a poisonous and potentially infectious plant on Sideswipe. We need to remove it before it spreads!" Glyph stated. Arcee let her optic ridges crease in a slight frown.

"Plant…?" her optics settled onto the still shaken looking mech and up to his helm. Realisation hit her.

After another slow glance between Sideswipe and her fellow femmes, the pink bot all but doubled over in a gush of hysterical laughter. The datapads hit the floor with a rain of metallic clatters and she clamped her pink arms around her abdomen. Sideswipe scowled in discouraged embarrassment while the femmes merely looked on in confusion.

"Arcee, what-?" Vibes stopped as the pink femme held up a shaking servo, desperately attempting to quell her laughter long enough to explain.

"O-oh Primus guys! That's mistletoe, i-its only poisonous for other organics….and only when they eat it…and even then it's not fatal!" she eventually choked out before lapsing back into her high pitched giggles.

The three femmes slowly absorbed this new information, hesitantly looking between a hysterical Arcee and dour Sideswipe. Flareup gave a nervous giggle.

"O-oh…um…Hehe, s-sorry about that…" she sheepishly rubbed the back of her helm.

Vibes forced a crooked grin, "Yeah, same here…ugh…"she shuffled her pedes.

"I believe embarrassed is more fitting for myself" Glyph mumbled, visor dimly focussed on the ground.

Another weak chuckle crackled from the pink bot, blue optics swimming in fluid, "Where the Pit did you guys even hear that mistletoe was poisonous to us?" she wheezed. Both femmes looked towards Glyph who shuffled awkwardly.

"Well, to be honest, about a joor before Sideswipe came in, Smokescreen and Powerglide arrived and-"

"WHAT?!" previous mortification gave way to righteous fury as the red mech's optics blazed, "They told you?!" he demanded, receiving a startled nod in response. He growled, "Those fraggers! They were the ones who told me to come in here and try it in the first place!" an furious engine rev rumbled, "No wonder they were so slagging smug…I'll teach those little…" the rest of his sentence trailed off into dangerous mutterings as he determinedly stalked towards the doorway.

The three femmes were left exchanging perplexed glances, looking to Arcee for some type of enlightenment. The pink femme merely shrugged while simultaneously stooping to retrieve her datapads.

"The human tradition is that when two people are caught under the mistletoe they kiss. Guess Mr. Smooth wanted to introduce you guys into the custom" she ended with a snicker.

Again, the three femmes looked to one another, this time in sudden comprehension.

"So…he wanted a kiss?" Vibes questioned, visor alight with surprise. Arcee gave an affirmative nod and crooked grin. Flareup's optics were wide, switching from Vibes, to Arcee, to Glyph, and back again. The blue femme meanwhile seemed to be thoroughly discomfited, visor fixed on the ground and pedes shifting.

"Don't worry" the pink femme's voice broke the short silence, "It's not like you have to do it. I can't tell you how many times I've tried to get two of the guys under it and they vehemently refused" she drawled, shaking her head lightly.

Flareup giggled. Glyph muttered something inaudible, briskly gathering her datapad from the couch and retreating to her quarters.

"Poor thing is pretty shy about these kinds of things, huh?" Arcee observed.

"Yeah, but I'm sure she'll be fine. She'll read some datapads, translate a few languages, discover a hidden message or two and BAM good as new!" Flareup cheerily stated, skipping back to her own pile of work. Arcee chuckled, settling herself onto the couch that Glyph had cleared and spread her datapads onto the opposite table.

Her blue optics brightened and flicked upwards as a red frame rushed past her.

"Where are you off to?" she inquisitively queried. Vibes spun on the spot, grin positively impish and visor glowing.

"Well, I'd hate to break a tradition held so highly by humans" she chirped, audio horns twitching, "Besides, who am I to say no when a good looking mech sees something he likes" then with another flicker of her visor, she skipped off.

Arcee stared mutely for several moments before breaking out into another bout of hysteric cackles.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I got bitten by one of the plot bunnies at the Bunny Farm I did! Normally I can resist their incessant nibbling but this one just came so clearly to my mind that I couldn't resist XD

It was: A nervous Sideswipe has a mistletoe strapped to his head and is backed in a corner with femmes surrounding him. Why?

Soooo, probably not what the bunny maker had in mind =X But I had fun writing it regardless!


End file.
